vrabia:

madmaudlingoes:

fueledbyrydenn:

superhighschoollevelgay:

tiny21dancer:

“I guess your grades are more important to you than your morals are,” my English teacher spits out, lecturing our class about cheating that’s been going on in the school.

My classmates and I exchange glances. Well, yeah, we all seem to be thinking together. Isn’t that what they’ve been showing us since middle school?

#also that our grades are more important #than ourselves.

and our mental and physical health.

True fact: research has shown that one of the strongest predictors of whether a student will cheat or plagiarize is how much their parents value their grades.

Or having parents who are obsessed both with grades and THE RIGHT THING, they will work themselves into the literal hospital, become insecure about everything, believe that despite being overachievers they’re too stupid to understand a subject that in reality just doesn’t interest them, and it’ll take them 15 years of various levels of schooling to find something they genuinely enjoy about it. 

Grades will fuck up your kids. 

friendlytroll:

astrakiseki:

prokopetz:

mikhailvladimirovich:

bogleech:

It’s funny how science fiction universes so often treat humans as a boring, default everyman species or even the weakest and dumbest.

I want to see a sci fi universe where we’re actually considered one of the more hideous and terrifying species.

How do we know our saliva and skin oils wouldn’t be ultra-corrosive to most other sapient races? What if we actually have the strongest vocal chords and can paralyze or kill the inhabitants of other worlds just by screaming at them? What if most sentient life in the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and lives in fear of us rare “animal” races who can move so quickly and chew shit up with our teeth?

Like that old story “they’re made of meat,” only we’re scarier.

HOLY SHIT THEY EAT CAPSAICIN FOR FUN

YOU GUYS I HEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN AIRPLANE.

A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN AFTER YOU SHOOT IT

humans are a proud warrior race with a pantheon of bloody gods: Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc.

REMOVING A LIMB WILL NOT FATALLY INCAPACITATE HUMANS: ALWAYS DESTROY THE HEAD.

WARNING: HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE

WARNING: HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR. DESTROY INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY

THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW MUSCLES.

HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS

WARNING: HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE IMPROVISED WEAPONS. SEE CLASSIFIED DATA LABELED J. CHAN.

HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BODY. DO NOT INHALE

OH GOD THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR HANDLES OH GOD OH GOD

More seriously, humans do have a number of advantages even among Terrestrial life. Our endurance, shock resistance, and ability to recover from injury is absurdly high compared to almost any other animal. We often use the phrase “healthy as a horse” to connote heartiness - but compared to a human, a horse is as fragile as spun glass. There’s mounting evidence that our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by following it at a walking pace, without sleep or rest, until it died of exhaustion; it’s called pursuit predation. Basically, we’re the Terminator.

(The only other animal that can sort of keep up with us? Dogs. That’s why we use them for hunting. And even then, it’s only “sort of”.)

Now extrapolate that to a galaxy in which most sapient life did not evolve from hyper-specialised pursuit predators:

  • Our strength and speed is nothing to write home about, but we don’t need to overpower or outrun you. We just need to outlast you - and by any other species’ standards, we just plain don’t get tired.
  • Where a simple broken leg will cause most species to go into shock and die, we can recover from virtually any injury that’s not immediately fatal. Even traumatic dismemberment isn’t necessarily a career-ending injury for a human.
  • We heal from injuries with extreme rapidity, recovering in weeks from wounds that would take others months or years to heal. The results aren’t pretty - humans have hyperactive scar tissue, among our other survival-oriented traits - but they’re highly functional.
  • Speaking of scarring, look at our medical science. We developed surgery centuries before developing even the most rudimentary anesthetics or life support. In extermis, humans have been known to perform surgery on themselves - and survive. Thanks to our extreme heartiness, we regard as routine medical procedures what most other species would regard as inventive forms of murder. We even perform radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic reasons.

In essence, we’d be Space Orcs.

I do hope you realize I’m going to be picking up this stuff and running with it right? 

Our jaws have too many TEETH in them, so we developed a way to WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN OUR JAW to restructure over the course of years to fit them back into shape, and then we continue to wear metal in out mouths to keep them in place. 

We formed cohabitative relationships with tiny mammals and insects we keep at bay from bothering us by death, often using little analouge traps. 

And by god, we will eat anything. 

(via vrabia)

asylum-art:

 Octopus-Inspired Design Ideas

The octopus, with its eight writhing tentacles and otherworldly appearance, has fascinated and inspired mankind since we first explored the oceans. While we may no longer write myths and legends about tentacled sea beasts, these modern octopus-inspired household designs are enough to inspire a dread of the deep. Some of us might not feel comfortable facing a slimy octopus, but the artists and designers behind these octopus products consider them be great sources of inspiration for their artworks. That sleek black leather octopus chair could be Poseidon’s throne, while those octopus chandeliers might make you feel like you’re 20,000 leagues under the sea.

1) Octopus Chandelier. Image credits: imgur

2) Octopus Umbrella. Image credits: imgur.com | Buy

3) Octopus Bracelet. Image credits: Maya

4.5) Octopus Chair. Image credits: Maximo Riera

6) Octopus Ear Cuff. Image credits: martymagic

7) Octopus Table. Image credits: Image credits: Isaac Krauss

8) Octopus Watch. Image credits: kudoke.eu

9) Octopus Candelabra. credits: catalog.sourcecollection.com

10) Octopus Cake. Image credits: Karen Portaleo

11) Octopus Rings. mage credits: Linda Smyth

12.13) Octopus Chandelier. credits: catalog.sourcecollection.com

14) Octopus Punch Bowl. credits: catalog.sourcecollection.com

15) Octopus Cellphone Holder. Available at Amazon.com

16) Octopus Gate. Image credits: paulgilbert-blacksmith.co.uk

17) Octopussy Floor Lamp. Image credits: Vladimir Tomilov

(via tentacledog)

shouldnt:

We’ve officially reached that annoying time of year where it’s sweater weather in the morning, but by midday you die from a heatstroke.

(via i-was-so-alone-i-owe-you-so-much)

sabacc:

THERE’S NOT EVEN ANY WIND INDOORS, HIS COAT JUST DOES THAT OUT OF RESPECT

Captain America: The Winter Soldier review by 

(via actualmenacebuckybarnes)

fangirlingdragon:

cutestmoose:

iwishtoreportaburglary:

thefamilyphantom:

ihaveanarmy-wehaveatimelord:

karen-valentine:

chianina:

heyfunniest:


Someone get this guy a fucking medal.

They made birth control for men. However it never got past the clinical testing stage because its side effects were things like “moodiness, extreme cramping, hunger, increased sexual drive” and were considered INHUMANE.

what the fuck do they think women go through every goddamn month seriously

I’M SORRY MEN CAN’T HANDLE MENSTRATION

men are pussies

Men are not pussies because they can’t handle having one

men are penises

the post was amazing and the comments made it better.

fangirlingdragon:

cutestmoose:

iwishtoreportaburglary:

thefamilyphantom:

ihaveanarmy-wehaveatimelord:

karen-valentine:

chianina:

heyfunniest:

image

Someone get this guy a fucking medal.

They made birth control for men. However it never got past the clinical testing stage because its side effects were things like “moodiness, extreme cramping, hunger, increased sexual drive” and were considered INHUMANE.

what the fuck do they think women go through every goddamn month seriously

I’M SORRY MEN CAN’T HANDLE MENSTRATION

men are pussies

Men are not pussies because they can’t handle having one

men are penises

the post was amazing and the comments made it better.

(via carryon-my-wayward-tardis)

thescienceofjohnlock:

cumber-porn:

vanconcastiel:

just watch. Just do it.

You owe it to yourself. You are worth this.

I laughed so much I cried

I needed this, this morning

youtaggedthatsnakewrong:

theantitheticalchiasm:

i did a thing…

the only image i own is the one of the ball python on the first page.

Thank you for making this. Too many people have no idea what they’re talking about when they do this.

(via vrabia)

adventuresinchemistry:

Nothing makes you look more suspicious than randomly laughing while doing science, because you know who else randomly laughs while doing science? Supervillians.

(via thehalloweinersoldier)